Not As Smart As You Think
by Ong-no-otaku
Summary: The White Collar, Criminal Minds and Leverage teams are coming together. This is a recipe for disaster.
1. Chapter 1

I know I'm a bad person who should be working on my other story. For those who have read Hopeless I beg forgiveness. I was in the Philippines with a laptop but no internet and this popped into my head and I just had to jot it down. Please remember that this is fan fiction so almost everything said I made up. I do not own any of the shows that show up.

_**CM**_

"There are a series of robberies occurring in New York, we are to go there and assist the White Collar Unit in their investigation." said Hotch. He was standing the BAU conference room addressing his team, Rossi, Morgan, Reid, Emily, JJ, and Garcia.

"Robberies? Hotch this doesn't seem like our kind of job. There is no evidence of violence or escalation into violence. The unsub seems to have found his pattern and is sticking to it" argued Morgan

"I agree, but Strauss thinks we need a break from serial murders, especially after the trauma from George Foyet. Beside this could be a great opportunity, the mind of a professional white collar criminal has never been explored thoroughly."

"Exactly Hotch, we will be shooting the dark with this job. We have nothing to reference." Reid added.

"We won't be completely in the dark. The unit we are working with has a criminal informant working with them. He is on some sort of work release program for the next four years. And they are also consulting with a group of professionals, Leverage Consultants and Co." explained Hotch.

"If they already have all this extra help then why are we going there? There has to be a better way to use our resources" asked Emily.

"We are not really going there to help with the case. Like a said, the mind of a career white collar criminal is still unknown. We are being sent on a research mission of sorts to try and get some more information."

"That's not all" Garcia said, speaking for the first time that meeting "When I heard about this assignment I did some digging on my own. After what happened with George Foyet the higher ups doubt your ability as a team. I work for the entire floor so I'm pretty safe. This assignment is to see if you guys are going to be split up. The only reason I am going is because they thought I needed a break and this would be the best way to keep me from hacking in and working anyway."

"They are going to break up the team?" asked Reid.

"NO they are not. This case will be the perfect opportunity to show that our team still works together and we will have the opportunity to gather new knowledge" Hotch said trying to comfort his youngest member. When everybody nodded Hotch continues "Go home and pack some more clothes. We have no idea how long this will take. Wheels up in two hours."

_**Leverage**_

"Hardison, run it." Nate said formally starting the meeting taking place in his apartment/Headquarters. "Our clients are the FBI. There have been a string of robberies occurring in New York. From the pattern the perpetrator seems to be Mark Abbott."

Hardison cut in "Mark, that man only hits the big leagues man. We help out the little people, those who can't help themselves. We are modern day Robin Hood's man, why are we helping out the Kings and Queens?"

"Because, this has the opportunity to be very good for all of us. If tomorrow goes down right we are looking at major awards." Nate explained.

"I don't know Nate, this could ruin our reputations. If we suddenly change our pattern it could bring a lot of problems for us. Everyone who knows who we are leaves us alone because they know we don't go after those types of thieves. If word gets out that we took down someone who doesn't really hurt anybody then all those who ignore us would see us as enemies and try to destroy us." Argued Sophie.

"Don't worry I've already taken care of that. I contacted Mark and told him the FBI hired us. He wants to help us get those rewards I told you about. He is going to continue as normal, maybe try to make things a bit more difficult, and we have to break him out when we catch him, but it won't hurt our reputation."

"So he's going to let himself be captured" Parker asked, tilting her head to the side.

"No, he is going to try and stay free. We will have a bit of a handicap because he knows we are coming. I just made sure this wouldn't come back and harm us later. But it's as I told you guys with the Moreau case, I won't force you. So do you want to do this?"

"If you say that the rewards outweigh the risks then I'll do it" Elliot agreed. Everyone looked up in surprise "What? The only thing he never lied about was the rewards of the job"

"You know what, Elliot is right. I'm in too" agreed Hardison "Just one question. Who are we working with?"

"The White Collar Unit"

"Oh I'm in! I'm in! I want to see Neal again" Parker exclaimed, jumping up and down in excitement.

"How about you?" Nate asked looking at Sophie.

"I don't know Nate. It still seems really risky."

"True, it is risky. But it will also be a lot of fun. The BAU were also called onto the case. Think of how much fun you could have with a group of professional profilers. You should come, if only to see how badly you can throw them off. It's a matter of professional pride."

Sophie was still hesitant but in the end her pride won out and she nodded her consent. "Now that we are all on the same page I want to discuss our entrance. For the ultimate awards we need our introductions to go well tomorrow."

**WC**

I looked up to see a group of people standing by the elevator. Peter had been in Hughes's office for the better part of the day arguing about jurisdiction or something. Office politics that I usually go through great lengths to avoid. They must be the outside group coming in. There were seven of them, three women four men; they were looking toward a tall somber white male for guidance, probably the team leader. They looked around with a mixture of anxiety and impatience; probably used to the local team already working the case greeting them with hostility. I stood and walked over to the group, pulling out the badge Peter gave me when my consulting became official along the way.

"Hello, I'm Neal Caffrey" I said showing them my badge in a flippant manner. "You must be the outside group being brought in."

The somber guy stepped forward "I'm Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner. This is my team SSA's Rossi, Morgan, Prentiss, Jareau, Dr. Reid and our technical analyst Penelope Garcia"

I smiled and waved them into the office. "Welcome to the New York White Collar Unit. Allow me to give you a quick tour. Here we have the bullpen, the archive is to the left, coffee machine is just past that" I said leading through the room and up the stairs "here is he conference room to the right is Agent Burkes office and to the left is Supervisor Hughes's office" As they got settled in the conference room I could tell my spontaneous tour had thrown them off balance, just as I intended. They probably weren't use to a cordial greeting that wasn't laced with desperation and probably were used to just diving into the case. It looked like the unit leader and the blonde female were the only ones used to dealing with the general pleasantries.

"So…art robberies. Big change from the murders you usually have to deal with." I smiled on the inside as they visibly tried to recover. Definitely not used to pleasantries then.

The Doctor spoke first "Yeah, we decided to have a small change of pace. Beside the mind of a white collar criminal is fascinating. It has never been…"I noticed the small glare Morgan gave him when Reid mentioned a change of pace. Not their decision then; most likely a traumatic case and higher ups who question their abilities to work. I also noticed how the team seemed amused at how much the young doctor could talk. I keep my face interested so that nobody would interrupt him for my sake. They seemed to humor his rants, he's probably the youngest and weakest on the team, must be why he was introduced as doctor, so I wouldn't automatically discount his opinion because of his age.

The others were getting annoyed so I cut in at the appropriately polite moment "Really, that is fascinating."

Hotch asked "So, how far are you on the case? We would like to get started soon."

I smiled politely "We haven't started yet. Our case leader has been in meetings all day, he should be out soon and we can get started." They looked annoyed but couldn't speak up because they didn't know how White Collar worked. We spoke for a few more minutes and I could see that they were all on my side, hopefully that held up when Peter walked into the room.

He burst in the room and cast a distasteful eye over everyone else but kept his expression otherwise neutral. "You guys from the BAU?" he didn't quite manage to keep his anger out of his voice. Perfect, even with my less than perfect past they will still be more liable to trust me. I noticed a quick expression pass over Prentiss's face but she regained control of her expression the fastest, she was used to undercover work.

Hotch stood and offered his hand. "Yes, this is my team. You're agent was just showing us around and helping us settle in."

Peter was quick to correct him "Neal isn't an agent. He is our criminal consultant." He then turned to me "You do know impersonating a federal agent is considered breaking our agreement and you could go back to jail. Right?"

I simply smiled. "I didn't impersonate an agent. I simply showed them my badge, which you gave to me by the way, and told them my name. The lovely agents here assumed I was an agent."

"I only gave you that badge to keep you from forging one. And you knew they would draw that conclusion. That is why you flashed the badge."

"Correct. But I still didn't do anything illegal"

Rossi stood up at that "Wait a minute. How did we spend all that time with Mr. Caffery and not know he was a criminal. It's our job to read people and he didn't come across as the least bit untrustworthy"

"I am just very good at what I do."

The undercover agent spoke up then "It's not just that. We have met other people who are very good at what they do. They come across as trustworthy and kind to most people and we have always been able to tell."

I sighed at that "You guys are used to dealing with murders. They just need to fool the victim for a short period of time. They can afford to create completely different personalities. My identities need to last for month's maybe years. I assign a few personality traits and let the people I'm talking to create my personality for me. By the time we walked through the doors into the bullpen you already created my personality for me. I just picked up on the cues you gave me and showed you what you were expecting to see. Every time I deviated from the person you decided was me you guys would give very obvious cues and made a small alteration so my personality could blend seamlessly and you guys forgot about the minor transgression. By the time Peter got here I knew exactly what you expected from me and could have kept up the ruse for the entire duration of our partnership, if Peter hadn't spoiled my fun. And now you're all frightened because of how easily I manipulated you. Sorry about that."

Peter sighed at the end of my monologue "Don't worry we are bringing in an outside company. You don't have to worry about working with Neal too closely."

I perked up at that "Who are we working with?"

"Leverage Consultants and Company"

And there went my good mood. I knew who they were; everyone in the criminal circuit knew who they were, except for those who thought they were above everyone. I was excited to see Parker again but knew I would be blamed when the truth came out. "Peter, you can't trust them."

"Why not? Are they violent?"

"No, but they are…"

"Have you worked with them in the past?"

"No, but…."

"Does Mozzie trust them?

"Most of them yes. Well as much as Moz trusts but…"

"In that case I don't see the problem."

I was getting tired of Peter not allowing me to finish my sentences. I had a room full of witnesses to state that I did indeed try to warn him. I decided to try one last time before giving up. "Peter, read whatever they try to have you sign. Don't trust them they…"

At least it wasn't Peter who interrupted this time, it was Hotch "No offence Mr. Caffery but you are the one we don't trust considering you just admitted to manipulating all of my team. How do we know this is not more manipulation?" Peter must still be mad about that little ruse because he didn't defend me.

"Fine, so what is the case?"

"It is late and the other team aren't coming in till nine a.m. tomorrow. We'll go over everything then, feel free to enjoy the night."

I could see that the BAU was annoyed at the case being put off but couldn't argue. I nodded my consent and bid everyone good night and went home. Tomorrow was going to be interesting at least.

**A.N.** Heading this off now. I know people will be angry over how quickly Neal picked up on everything. But really he was know as the best con man for a reason. In order to survive for as long as he did then Neal must have been able to read and manipulate people very well. This is my headcannon!Neal. Don't hate.


	2. Chapter 2

_Criminal Minds_

"Well that was a waste of time. We don't even have the case files. We should have come tomorrow and slept in our own beds tonight" complained Morgan; they were all in Reid's room. Garcia and JJ were sitting on Reid's bed, Morgan was sitting on a chair near the bed, Hotch was on the desk, Rossi was leaning on the door, and Reid was sitting on the floor in the corner.

"I don't know. The experience seemed very educational to me ", said Reid.

"Yeah, we now know to not trust a word Caffery says" Hotch interjected "If he could play us that easily then we need to stay on guard".

"Hang on guys; we can't just disregard everything he says. He made a living of lying for years. What happened in the office was harmless, he could have done much worse" argued Prentiss.

"Well I like him. It's not every day someone can get something over you guys and it was all in good fun. Beside Caffery is hot" said Morgan.

"Baby girl, you can't base everything off of how someone looks" said Morgan.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again. No one that good looking can be evil" said Garcia.

"Regardless of Caffery's intention he still lied to us before" said Hotch trying to get the conversation back on course "if he has lied to us before he can do it again. Stay on guard".

"I think we can trust him." Rossi spoke for the first time from his spot on the door. His statement was met with nods from Reid, Prentiss and Garcia.

"Why? He was a little too smooth for my tastes" JJ said.

"Exactly, he was confident and presented a strong front. Normally that would set off red flags right. Especially to the people who work with him closely, they would have seen if he was up to something even if we didn't. Yet they let him continue. They could have stepped in at any time and we were still alone with him for an extended time" Rossi pointed out.

"They might not have noticed what he was doing" Morgan argued, getting off the chair and beginning to pace.

"This means he is trusted by those who work with him. Caffery wasn't under constant scrutiny or restricted to a certain area. He had free run of the office. Just like any other worker there" refuted Prentiss.

"But he is not just any other worker. He is a convicted criminal with a list of alleged crimes a mile long. We shouldn't trust him" Hotch argued.

"But we want too. And that scares you" Reid said, getting off the floor and leaning on the wall "It's crazy and there is no way for me to put this in educated language but I just feel like I can trust Caffery. And all of you feel the same. Even after learning of his past and his manipulations we still want to trust him. You can't explain it so instead you and Morgan and JJ are going on the defense and pushing away everything he says. But I think I am going with my emotions for the time being."

"Reid makes a good point" Hotch conceded "We will just have to stay aware and change our perceptions as needed. For now it's getting late and we should rest. We have a lot to do tomorrow"

_Leverage_

"So, do we all understand the plan?" Nate asked, looking around at the team. They were sitting in their office/his apartment. Everyone was on the couch except for Sophie who was standing at the counter nursing a cup of tea.

"Yeah, Nate we all understand what we have to do, we spent the last hour going over the White Collar Team and how to get the contract signed" Hardison said "But I still don't understand is how we are going to pull it off. Neal Caffery will be there man, he will see through us in a second. How do we know that he won't tell his handler?"

Sophie answered the question, "He won't. The BAU showed up today. Neal wouldn't have been able to resist showing off, which would have annoyed his already pissed off agent. The entire room would have been suspicious of his warnings already. So now Neal will happily sit back and watch us work."

"If that is the case then maybe he can help us with our big entrance", Elliot interjected, "Anything that can smooth the positive edges is a positive thing."

"No, if the plan for mark is going to work we need Agent Burke to have complete faith in Caffery", Nate rejected.

"Does that mean Neal and I can't be friendly? I was looking forward to jumping on him", Parker spoke from her position on the back of the couch.

"You can still jump on him Parker. In fact, just for this job mind you, you can forget our lessons on how to behave in public",Sophie's answer was met with an enthusiastic nod.

"Okay, Hardison what have you found on the FBI agents" Nate asked trying to regain control of the planning session.

"Let's start with the youngest. SSA Dr. Spencer Reid. This kid has been busy, he graduated High School at age 12 and currently has 5 degrees in a wide variety of subjects" Hardison supplied.

"So, socially isolated and abused by peers. Probably has trouble interacting with others but is fiercely loyal to those he feels close to. As the youngest he is probably already surrounded by 'older brother' figures. We can slip in Parker, maybe Hardison, through his defense as a younger sibling", Sophie theorized.

"Younger, but we are the same age", Parker asked.

"Yes, but you are more socially awkward then he is. We play it correctly and Spencer will want to take you under his wing and teach you to read people. Play this correctly and his protectiveness will bleed to the rest of the team".

Hardison spoke next, "Moving on, Emily Prentiss, daughter of a diplomat and ex-Interpol."

"She will be the most sympathetic. She knows that there is more than one style of justice. If we can get her over the legal-illegal difference she could be a great long-term ally", Nate stated.

"Neal has probably already started working that angle. By the time we come in she should only need a slight push to get firmly on our side", Sophie interjected.

"So, Prentiss isn't a threat. Now we have SSA Derek Morgan. Father died trying to stop a robbery when he was young. Raised by his mother and two older sisters in Chicago. Has had multiple offers from other offices but has stayed with the BAU. Presents as a dominating Alpha-male", Hardison reported.

"Very loyal and over protective to those he sees as weaker than him. If we can get those under him on our side it will probably put him even more on guard", Sophie theorized, "especially considering the darker aspects of his past."

"Shouldn't it be the opposite? If the people he trusts trust us won't he be more inclined to trust us? Like follow the leader but the opposite 'cause he's they are not the leader" Parker asked.

"Not if they are under his perceived protection. Morgan wants to keep them innocent and naive so he will maintain his guard long after Reid and Garcia drop theirs. He needs to be able to save them is things go wrong. Winning him over will be difficult", Elliot explained.

Nate was looking at Elliot in a speculative way, "You know I don't think Morgan will pose that much of a problem. We have a connection."

Hardison looked at Nate. "What connection?" the then turned towards Elliot, "and how do you know that Reid and Garcia are under his protection? I haven't even gotten to Garcia yet."

Elliot just crossed his arm and growled, "It's a very distinctive personality."

Hardison tried to argue but Nate just circled his hand to tell him to move on. He violently grabbed the remote and moved to the next set of information. "Penelope Garcia, adopted parents died in car cash. She was offered a job with the FBI when they caught her hacking their database, amateur. She is usually seen in colorful outfits and enjoys making cute nicknames for the teammates."

Parker giggled, "Neal is going to have her wrapped around his little finger." She had flipped so now she was upside down on the couch.

Sophie smiled at her from the sink, having finished her tea. "As will we," she looked toward Hardison, 'make sure to talk to her alone."

Hardison frowned, "About what we talk hacking and we will start arguing methods. Hackers don't work well together."

Elliot scoffed, "Hackers are always complaining. Talk to her about what you're always complaining about."

Hardison turned towards Elliot and said "What am I always complaining about? You mean how none of y'all appreciate how much work goes into these briefings or that you guys seem to think the things I do only need one or two clicks..."

Nate interrupted before he could work his way into a full rant, "Yeah, all that. Go and bond. Allow her to vent hacker things that she usually doesn't get to talk about."

Hardison turned back to the presentation, mumbling about how he got no respect, "Next we have Agent Jennifer Jureau aka JJ, boyfriend is a retired New Orleans cop and has a son, Henry, whose godparents are Reid and Garcia. She's a small town girl who grew to become a BAU liaison. It's her job to deice which jobs the BAU takes."

"So, she's practical and emotionally controlled. Knows how to work the press, which will come in handy. She cemented permanent bonds to the team instead of just leaving the unstated understood bonds. She is very invested in the BAU", Sophie spoke as she flipped through the file on the couch, and "She is also the best manipulator. She has to be to work with the press. She will be on guard when dealing with other manipulators."

"Then we are just going to have to prove we are on the same side. Enough of her teammates trust us and she will come around", Nate declared.

"So, all we have to do is be patient. We are so good at that", Hardison said sarcastically. Nate just glared at him so Hardison moved onto the next set of pictures. "SSA David Rossi, founding member of the BAU, retired, published some books, went on tour and come out of retirement to replace SSA Jason Gideon."

"The old-new guy. Has the most field experience but the least team experience. He will step up if he needs to but is happy to sit back and watch if things get crazy."

"The laid back uncle", Sophie said. Nate glared at her for interrupting. "Oh stop that. He will play along purely because he wants to know how it will work out."

"Right, last but not least, SSA Aaron Hotchner. He has a 5 year old son, wife just killed by Foyet. Promoted when Gideon left and currently having his leadership questioned due to his response to the wife's killer—poor guy", Hardison rattled off eager to finish the briefing—there were too many damn people on this job and they haven't even gotten to the people they were working against yet.

"He is going to be the hardest to convince. Faced with the possible loss to of his team he will want everything done perfectly and done by the book. He would anyway but it is intensified because of the circumstances", Nate warned the team, "don't avoid him but do not purposely engage; advise coming from criminals will not cause him to relax. Just stand back, don't get defensive and let Peter Burke loosen him up."

Because most of the team looked confuse Sophie explained, "Burke has already learned how to relax on the rules a little. Hotchner will look to him as the expert in working with criminals and follow his lead."

Hardison looked skeptical but Nate went on ahead anyways. He stood from his position on the couch and moved to the front of the group. He commented, "Everyone should go and rest. Tomorrow we steal two FBI teams", then he turned towards the stairs and up to his room. The others bid each other good night and left through the door/window.

A.N. I'm alive. And hopefully the next update will be faster. I'm going to try and spend at least 20 minutes a day on this and write. All of your lovely comments and your patience kept me working. Thank you.


End file.
